Sovereign by Shawn Bridget Hull
As a woman of a certain age, I’ve come to discover that Sovereignty is a choice I slip on my flowered crown and Survey the land of What has been, what is, and what might be I rule the landscape of my body
My hills and valleys are my own In sun and storm Beauty in thick hips Crooked teeth, and Commitment
Love that doesn’t look away, but Looks all the way through Staring down cyclones, Paying the mortgage,
Picking up the prescriptions, and Calling you out,(when you need it…) Then listening, (when I need it…)
Hope that declares Kindness now! Joy now! Delight now! EVERYBODY NOW! Unbreakable bonds
Forged in daisy chains for Today and tomorrow So, if you judge my kingdom As sticky sweet, sentimental,
Naieve, and a pipe dream I invite you to Ask yourself a question, Where do you want to live?
Transfiguration- Size: 25"h x 24"w x 18"d-paperclay, underglaze, glaze, handwriting fired on (poem on clouds and small rain drops) - My body is a cloud billowing vapor, yellow roses, and chocolate cupcakes with sprinkles Tender hope and bruised silver linings, icy crystals defending my moot point, snarky comments when I feel unlovable, Vapors shapeshifting from who you want me to be, to who I want me to be, to who I actually I am, and coming to terms with that. When I said when, when I’ve had enough, I let go, falling, falling, falling Back to the land cold rain, tears, sowing new flowers and fruit, traveling through the lakes and oceans, only to evaporate again
Dismembered- 7'x 7'- porcelain, glaze, underglaze, organic branches, handwriting fired on, mounted on wood - Don’t you see it, all? Look, look at the outrageous gifts dropped at your feet warm sunlight, birdsong, and gentle rain trees laden with fruit balancing the sweet with bitter Your nature hums with wholeness yet you pull away grab the ax and dismember your heart from your will and your body from your love Listen, listen hear the harmony? rooted, entwined, and vibrating with life There is no need to masticate metal breaking your teeth Don’t you see? that golden apple will never feed you
Sovereign - 10"h x 9.75"w x 9.75"d - Poem Above- Porcelain, glaze, and gold paint
Bone and Stone - 38"h x 20"w x 18"d- porcelain paperclay, mason stain, glaze, thread - These stones were here before you Were These stones are here when you Weren't In between love laid bare bones supporting time crumbles into pebbles and I am a Puddle of water that carved the gorge I am rock but you are bone But I will be bone and she will be stone And eventually the pressure wears us away to sand or diamonds. Who is to say? I love you, anyway.
Tender is Spring- 24"h x 18"w x 10"d - Porcelain, porcelain paper clay, mason stain, branches, handwriting fired on and thread - Deep, deep, deep below the ice water flows, thawing the gray shards to slush, with enough sun the whole thing gives way to bird song
Teachable Moment- Large Cloud- 44"h x 22"w x 18"D - Smaller Cloud- 44"h x 17"w x 15"d - Porcelain paper clay, porcelain adobe, tulle, glaze, paint, handwriting fired on, and thread - Love, love, love Love Love, love Love Love, love, love Love Class Dismissed!
Hidden Altars- (Poem on suspended cloud) - 24"h x 21"w x 15"d - Porcelain Paperclay, porcelian, mason stain, glaze, gold luster, gold paint, handwriting fired on, and thread - Deep within I hold what is precious covered from prying eyes The dance I do on the surface confuses you and me where my treasure lies We can not be contained that is the truth, no matter how hard you close your fist the air slips right through Honor what you hold dear Honor in the light Honor what gives you peace Fill your hidden altars with joy burning bright, Honor yourself, with golden rule, Knowing that beauty, it seeps right through
Empty Nest- 5"diameter-porcelain and glaze, fired on font - And when I thought my heart would break You finally announced yourself Breaking me open, amazing me I gathered twigs, grasses, and flowers Set just so, to make you a home I tried and tried to give you my sweetest song. You are dazzling in the sunlight Your iridescence is magic. It is all beauty, sadness, and hope. You transformed and illuminated my everything All for you two ( and me). And when I though my heart would break With all the danger and delight You flew, you flew I am breathless, Re-orientating and remembering To Sing
Knot 8"l x 5"d x 3"h - Porcelain, glaze, and fired on font - I see you, my child, And when I say you, I also mean me Your bloodied cheek The scar above your breast Your ferocious eyes Shining with challenge Jaws clenched and bracing For a fight… Come, rest Let me stroke your hair And demand nothing Sit with your soul Until you can feel Your beating heart in My hand Deep, deep, deep beneath the frozen creek water flows thawing the grey shards to slush With enough sun the whole thing gives way to bird song, green shoots, and Musky fragrance You are not only the flower: pink petal, stamen, leaf, and stem You are also the Intoxicating scent You are not only the Bird wing in flight or eating of insects You are also the Song itself in the joy of now My child, I see you and when I say you I mean me, too.
Let it Rain- 22 raindrops ranging from 7"H x 3" diameter to 1.5"h 1" diameter- Porcelain, mason stain, glaze, and handwriting fired on - I was born on your birthday. You were so young- 23. A kid having a kid. When I was small you were my favorite person. You’d tuck me under your arm and dive through the ocean waves. I’d hold my breath, the water swirling and pushing around me. I felt safe because you held me tight. But, I was wrong. You let go. I was 32 when I had my first child-and she did not come easy. I had to work for her and her sister. But it was all just handed to you, a family. You said, “ You’ll understand when you’re grown up”. I am grown up and I am bewildered. All that time and love wasted, frittered away for shiny things. I learned from your example and the cost was too high. At the end I felt your remorse, it came in fits and starts. I knew you were wrestling with your choices and the inevitable reckoning. I mourned you long before you died. I knew there would be no resolution. Being a parent is tricky work. My hypervigilance has caused cracks of its own. No one is perfect, let alone the perfect parent. Please know, I realize there was light too. You tried, sometimes. I know. Absolution is not mine to give. I am not a diety or the ultimate arbiter of a live well lived. I have my own mis-steps to account for. The older I get the more I understand, I understand nothing, nothing but this… The only salve is love. Love, just love. Forgive you, forgive me, love sets us free. Forgive you, forgive me, love sets us free. Love, just love.
Woman, not girl- 5" diameter- Porcelain, glaze, and font fired on - Insistent the lilt and vibrating tug of life beckons Unclench and unfurl into the electricity of full knowing Now, now, it’s always now Let go the delicate petal of promise and potential Bloom into the fullness of maturity and consequence balancing on the edge of decay All at once, it’s always all at once This rhapsodic chaos, saturated in aliveness and foreboding I claim my treasure
Me and Her - 27"h x 21"w x 18"d - Porcelain, porcelain paperclay, mason stain, glaze, handwriting fired on - The woman in the blue hills calls me. I can not resist the south sun illuminating her face or the lake winding its way between her breasts. All at once I am her and she is me. Together we gaze upward searching for clues.
Fruit- 16"l x 14"w x 1.5"h - Porcelain, glaze, leather strap, font fired on, and mounted on wood - Dancing to Easy E alone in the living room Friend of a friend, 33 years my friend Apples and oranges Do not make a fruit salad You and me We each grew a tree Let go, you say I say, why? You must, she said I said, you’ll die Sipping fruity drinks On a warm summer night On the deck of a tikki bar I just didn’t know I didn’t know Apples and oranges Long ago
Nostalgia - 7'h x 3'w x 18"d - several porcelain paperclay snowflakes ranging from 2" - 7" diameter, 2 beaded strings, and porcelain bells, fired on handwriting and photographs, and branches - So impatient for my joy you woke me up at 2am Christmas morning telling me that Santa had come!
Dandelion Wish- 4.5"l x 4.5"w x 1.5"d - porcelain, glaze, and fired on font, mounted on wood - Praise hope that forces its way through the crevices of concrete Insisting that beauty will flower Praise the foot who steps on this tiny hope, crushes the flower but Releases a new seed Praise the breeze that carries the dandelion wish to the creek bank and Takes root in the soil Praise the weed whose cheerful prettiness bewitches a child to pick a Handful for mom and set in a cup on the windowsill Praise hope that forces its way through the crevices of concrete and Softens the everyday
Lineage- 19"l x 16"w x 2"h - Porcelain, glaze, and fired on font, mounted on wood - Murmurs of long lost Joys and sorrows Move just beneath my skin I feel the stirrings Whispers in foreign tongues I do not understand Yet, belong to me My ruffles and folds are complicated A new species nourished Through secrets kept by Forgotten lives In the moonlight My skin glows, silver Past, present, and future Tremble